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Golden Rules to Having Success with the Ladies
L. co-authored and edited by Luigi Di Serio
are guys like Brett L. out there, who are real men. This man
allows people to use their own free will to make their own
choices, regardless whether there are consequences or rewards to
their choices. Yet, he is also a loyal individual, who helps
those who ask for it. He sticks by his friends and family and he
is happy for other people's successes. A rarity, but an
occurrence that happens only when one is happy with themselves. He
spent (lots of) time helping one of his good friends get over
his insecurities and watched him transform into a real man, who
is now happily married to an amazing woman! He has also spent
time writing the 15 golden rules to help other guys regain their
focus and succeed with the ladies. I have put my 2.2 cents in,
but I certainly never wrote number 15 (seriously!). Now enjoy.
1. Confidence is key. Without
confidence, you're doomed to fail at attracting women. If you
don't have confidence in yourself, then fake it for a bit. After
a while, you'll find that faking it won't be necessary anymore.
Have faith in yourself, that's what confidence mean. Take time
making decisions. Rash, impulsive decision making is seldom the
right thing. Believe in yourself and your decisions. Stick by
2. Good looks are definitely
helpful, but they aren't everything when it comes to seducing a
woman. Men are visually-oriented creatures; they tend to be
attracted to features like a nice body or a pretty face. Women,
on the other hand, are stimulated more by words and actions.
They're attracted to men who seem confident, strong, and
independent. This is why rule #1 is so important.
3. Keep Fresh. Do your best to
smell nice. Shower, wear deodorant, and make sure your clothes
are clean. You might even want to try wearing TAG or AXE body
spray. You won't get any girls if you smell like a gym sock
(unless you're meeting women at the gym, in which case she'll
probably be smelling like sweat too). Keep your breath smelling
fresh. A lot of people have bad breath without even realizing
it. Brush your teeth at least twice a day, floss, and keep a
pack of breath mints in your pocket and pop one every few hours
or after eating a meal.
4. Addendum to #3: Stay new.
Get new clothes. Spend on yourself every now and then (see #9).
Look different, often. Hair style, clothes and cologne can be
easily changed. STAY FIT. Work out and get some hobbies. Keep
your look up to date. Forget tattoos, piercing and looking
metrosexual. Don't go drastic and give yourself and identity
crisis, you are you, don't change that, just keep fit and look
Even if you are in a
long-term gig, up keep yourself. I know first had, it is easy to
get comfortable and let go in a relationship. That's why there
are countless married, 40-something slobs out there. Don't be
one of them.
5. Always seem to be less
interested in her than she is in you. If a woman has even a
vague interest in you, acting indifferent towards her will cause
her to want you even more badly. Conversely, if you act like
she's the center of your universe, she'll quickly lose interest
6. Spend money, but not all of
it on her. Buy drinks for yourself, your friends, and
(occasionally) her. Being a big spender makes you more
attractive to a woman, but if you spend all your money on her,
you'll set yourself up to be a mark. Make sure to spend our
yourself every now and then, especially if you saved money and
feel like you earned it. Go ahead, you deserve it. Just don't
get carried away and focus too much on material goods. They
won't make you happy anyway.
7. Allow yourself to be seen
with a woman at your side as much as possible. When women see
you in the company of another woman, their natural
competitiveness kicks in and they'll look at you differently
than if you were alone. It lets them know that you're
"dateable", and sometimes even causes them to think
"What's he doing with her? I'm much better looking than she
8. Side with her against
others. If she starts talking about somebody she doesn't like,
agree with her criticisms even if you've never met the
individual she is verbally attacking.
9. Never pretend that you like
something just because she likes it. If she likes American Idol
and you can't stand it, don't conceal the fact that you think
it's a stupid show. Sycophantic "yes men" are among
the most useless people on the planet. You can watch it
with her, every now and then, just as a reaffirmation as to why
you think the show blows. But remember, your doing it because
you are "open-minded". (*Note:
That modem "catch-phrase" that people use to identify
themselves is quite laughable. First of all, everyone thinks and
processes information, thus no one is closed minded or they
would be in a grave. Second, most people heard calling
themselves open-minded, are often the largest products of
current social conditions and are usually just band wagon
jumpers. Vittorio Alfieri said, It is the
mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought
without accepting it. Ok enough of that, back to the topic at
10. If you see an attractive
woman that you'd like to talk to, don't think about it, JUST DO
IT! Thinking about what to say will cause doubt and insecurity
to creep in, which are two things that you absolutely do not
need. Just walk up to her and start talking. I saw a web site
that referred to this as "The 3 Second Rule", meaning
that you should always act in 3 seconds or less, even if you
don't know what to say. Hesitation equals failure.
11. Be patient and persistent.
Even if you do everything absolutely right, a lot of women
simply aren't going to be very interested in you. Be prepared to
go through a lot of rejections and failed relationships before
you find the woman you'll share your life with. When rejection
happens, view the it as a learning experience and try to find
another woman. This is critical here. Don't blame the woman for
a failed relationship or pursuit. Forget about how they are and
what they did wrong. Focus and improve on yourself. Sometimes
you bring certain things onto yourself without even realizing it
(often subconsciously). It is a universal lesson given to you,
by you, to improve yourself. Be grateful, learn from it, and
12. When you take a woman out
on a first date, end the date before she does. Don't let it drag
on until things get awkward and she finally says that she needs
to get home. Instead, while the date is still going strong and
you're both still enjoying yourself, tell her that it was fun
and that maybe you'll have to get together again sometime.
Musicians like to say, "Always leave them wanting
more," and that phrase applies to dating as well as musical
performances. If you end the date just when things are getting
interesting, she'll be sitting by the phone all next week
waiting for you to call and ask her out again.
13. Don't take crap from her.
Be prepared to walk away from temper tantrums and unnecessary
drama. People have their own issues and you can't resolve other
people's problems. You can be supportive, but don't interfere.
This may be difficult because you'll feel like you're throwing
away the relationship, but if you stick to your guns and don't
cave in, she'll be back.
14. Just be a man.
Unfortunately, modern society is telling guys to deny their
masculinity. This is BS; millions of years of instinctive human
behavior can't be undone by what the media currently says a man
should be. Women want a man, they don't want a confused weenie
who tries to act in a way that's decidedly feminine while his
inner masculinity is telling him to act in a completely
15. Read Luigi
Di Serio's articles on gender relations. There's a lot of
good advice in there. :-)
In closing, did you notice what
the underlying message is with the 15 golden rules to having
success with the ladies is? If you did, you are catching on
quick. It is not about women at all. It is about yourself! All
15 are about things YOU can do. Don't look for certain qualities
in the next person, everyone is unique and has something
different to offer. But at the end of the day (corporate catch
phrase), most emotions and the joy of sharing good things with
others is universal. You need to be happy with yourself and only
then can you be happy with someone else. You can never predict
the future or guarantee happiness, so be proactive in growing
yourself and you will be happy with or without that special
someone (albeit, probably more fulfilled with the latter).