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15 Golden Rules to Having Success with the Ladies
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by
Brett L. co-authored and edited by Luigi Di Serio

There are guys like Brett L. out there, who are real men. This man allows people to use their own free will to make their own choices, regardless whether there are consequences or rewards to their choices. Yet, he is also a loyal individual, who helps those who ask for it. He sticks by his friends and family and he is happy for other people's successes. A rarity, but an occurrence that happens only when one is happy with themselves. He spent (lots of) time helping one of his good friends get over his insecurities and watched him transform into a real man, who is now happily married to an amazing woman! He has also spent time writing the 15 golden rules to help other guys regain their focus and succeed with the ladies. I have put my 2.2 cents in, but I certainly never wrote number 15 (seriously!). Now enjoy.

1. Confidence is key. Without confidence, you're doomed to fail at attracting women. If you don't have confidence in yourself, then fake it for a bit. After a while, you'll find that faking it won't be necessary anymore. Have faith in yourself, that's what confidence mean. Take time making decisions. Rash, impulsive decision making is seldom the right thing. Believe in yourself and your decisions. Stick by your guns. 

2. Good looks are definitely helpful, but they aren't everything when it comes to seducing a woman. Men are visually-oriented creatures; they tend to be attracted to features like a nice body or a pretty face. Women, on the other hand, are stimulated more by words and actions. They're attracted to men who seem confident, strong, and independent. This is why rule #1 is so important. 

3. Keep Fresh. Do your best to smell nice. Shower, wear deodorant, and make sure your clothes are clean. You might even want to try wearing TAG or AXE body spray. You won't get any girls if you smell like a gym sock (unless you're meeting women at the gym, in which case she'll probably be smelling like sweat too). Keep your breath smelling fresh. A lot of people have bad breath without even realizing it. Brush your teeth at least twice a day, floss, and keep a pack of breath mints in your pocket and pop one every few hours or after eating a meal. 

4. Addendum to #3: Stay new. Get new clothes. Spend on yourself every now and then (see #9). Look different, often. Hair style, clothes and cologne can be easily changed. STAY FIT. Work out and get some hobbies. Keep your look up to date. Forget tattoos, piercing and looking metrosexual. Don't go drastic and give yourself and identity crisis, you are you, don't change that, just keep fit and look good. 

Even if you are in a long-term gig, up keep yourself. I know first had, it is easy to get comfortable and let go in a relationship. That's why there are countless married, 40-something slobs out there. Don't be one of them. 

5. Always seem to be less interested in her than she is in you. If a woman has even a vague interest in you, acting indifferent towards her will cause her to want you even more badly. Conversely, if you act like she's the center of your universe, she'll quickly lose interest in you. 

6. Spend money, but not all of it on her. Buy drinks for yourself, your friends, and (occasionally) her. Being a big spender makes you more attractive to a woman, but if you spend all your money on her, you'll set yourself up to be a mark. Make sure to spend our yourself every now and then, especially if you saved money and feel like you earned it. Go ahead, you deserve it. Just don't get carried away and focus too much on material goods. They won't make you happy anyway.

7. Allow yourself to be seen with a woman at your side as much as possible. When women see you in the company of another woman, their natural competitiveness kicks in and they'll look at you differently than if you were alone. It lets them know that you're "dateable", and sometimes even causes them to think "What's he doing with her? I'm much better looking than she is!" 

8. Side with her against others. If she starts talking about somebody she doesn't like, agree with her criticisms even if you've never met the individual she is verbally attacking. 

9. Never pretend that you like something just because she likes it. If she likes American Idol and you can't stand it, don't conceal the fact that you think it's a stupid show. Sycophantic "yes men" are among the most useless people on the planet. You can watch it with her, every now and then, just as a reaffirmation as to why you think the show blows. But remember, your doing it because you are "open-minded". (*Note: That modem "catch-phrase" that people use to identify themselves is quite laughable. First of all, everyone thinks and processes information, thus no one is closed minded or they would be in a grave. Second, most people heard calling themselves open-minded, are often the largest products of current social conditions and are usually just band wagon jumpers. Vittorio Alfieri said, It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. Ok enough of that, back to the topic at hand.)

10. If you see an attractive woman that you'd like to talk to, don't think about it, JUST DO IT! Thinking about what to say will cause doubt and insecurity to creep in, which are two things that you absolutely do not need. Just walk up to her and start talking. I saw a web site that referred to this as "The 3 Second Rule", meaning that you should always act in 3 seconds or less, even if you don't know what to say. Hesitation equals failure. 

11. Be patient and persistent. Even if you do everything absolutely right, a lot of women simply aren't going to be very interested in you. Be prepared to go through a lot of rejections and failed relationships before you find the woman you'll share your life with. When rejection happens, view the it as a learning experience and try to find another woman. This is critical here. Don't blame the woman for a failed relationship or pursuit. Forget about how they are and what they did wrong. Focus and improve on yourself. Sometimes you bring certain things onto yourself without even realizing it (often subconsciously). It is a universal lesson given to you, by you, to improve yourself. Be grateful, learn from it, and move on. 

12. When you take a woman out on a first date, end the date before she does. Don't let it drag on until things get awkward and she finally says that she needs to get home. Instead, while the date is still going strong and you're both still enjoying yourself, tell her that it was fun and that maybe you'll have to get together again sometime. Musicians like to say, "Always leave them wanting more," and that phrase applies to dating as well as musical performances. If you end the date just when things are getting interesting, she'll be sitting by the phone all next week waiting for you to call and ask her out again. 

13. Don't take crap from her. Be prepared to walk away from temper tantrums and unnecessary drama. People have their own issues and you can't resolve other people's problems. You can be supportive, but don't interfere. This may be difficult because you'll feel like you're throwing away the relationship, but if you stick to your guns and don't cave in, she'll be back. 

14. Just be a man. Unfortunately, modern society is telling guys to deny their masculinity. This is BS; millions of years of instinctive human behavior can't be undone by what the media currently says a man should be. Women want a man, they don't want a confused weenie who tries to act in a way that's decidedly feminine while his inner masculinity is telling him to act in a completely different way. 

15. Read Luigi Di Serio's articles on gender relations. There's a lot of good advice in there. :-)

In closing, did you notice what the underlying message is with the 15 golden rules to having success with the ladies is? If you did, you are catching on quick. It is not about women at all. It is about yourself! All 15 are about things YOU can do. Don't look for certain qualities in the next person, everyone is unique and has something different to offer. But at the end of the day (corporate catch phrase), most emotions and the joy of sharing good things with others is universal. You need to be happy with yourself and only then can you be happy with someone else. You can never predict the future or guarantee happiness, so be proactive in growing yourself and you will be happy with or without that special someone (albeit, probably more fulfilled with the latter). 

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