If you are a male and behave like a male, a heterosexual female will be attracted to you (or at least your gender).  But if a male does everything he can to please the opposite sex (pun intended) and acts sweet, friendly, artistic, gentle, kind, submissive, loving and tender, will a very feminine female be attracted to that male?

NOT A CHANCE.

The above listed personality traits are wonderful, but very feminine in nature. A male who possesses and behaves through these qualities (or a majority of these qualities) as his facade personality, will appear effeminate or give off female energy.

Women have girlfriends and families to provide them those things anyway. A female needs to feel a powerful, inexplicable attraction towards a male in order for progression to occur towards a sexual and/or committed relationship. If a male is exuding an energy that is very positive, she will be repelled by it. Why? No one know for sure, but the reasons probably stem from thousands of years of evolution and human development and it works out best for our survival in both social and biological ways. Feminine females are attracted to masculine males and vice-versa. Opposites do attract, specifically concerning attraction that is driven by primal sexual instincts.

Today, specifically because of the collapsing of the traditional family and the gray-shading of gender roles and a phenomenon I call unisexification, it is difficult to know how to behave towards the opposite sex, specifically during courtship. Now-a-days assertive or slightly aggressive behavior (which is a universally attractive characteristic of male mammals of ANY specie) is frowned upon, by our legal system and mass media. This is scaring males into become wussies, for fear of getting sued for groping, harassment and other fine-line crimes. By no means am I trivializing the seriousness of sexual harassment or violence towards women. In fact, I would go as far as suggest that because of the social discouragement of certain, natural and intrinsic, male characteristics, men are more like to bottle up feelings that eventually are released in a morbid or unacceptable way. Unisexification and discouraging males from being males, actually contributes to their sometimes-disturbing behavior toward women.

Am I saying that aggression, decisiveness, cynicism, sarcasm, focus, constructiveness, drive and goal-orientation are primarily male attributes? YES I AM.

Am I saying females can not or do not have any of these traits? I certainly am not! Males and females can share all sorts of characteristics that can be deemed either male or female. But this is not about males and females, but more about masculine and feminine energies, and their distinctive differences.

As we all know, there are masculine females, and feminine men. There is nothing wrong with this, but people with masculine qualities will attract people with feminine qualities and vice-versa. I surmise that a perfect balance can only be achieved with a mostly-manly man in touch with his feminine side and a feminine lady in touch with her masculine side. as reflected in a YIN-YANG symbol. Both energies are required to fulfill the symbol of perfect harmony. Each piece is uniquely made to compliment the other, creating a mutually beneficial balance, that can not be achieved without each polar opposite power forging together to create a new, unique and even more powerful and beautiful energy.

So the mystery has been solved, opposites really do attract? Actually… Not really. In part II we will explore why “the opposite’s attract” notion is a double-edged sword in the world of dating and gender interaction.