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Ending The Debate: The Nice Guy vs. The Jerk (And The James Bond Prototype)

So why do girls who say they're looking for a sweet, NICE GUY always end up with JERKS? You know what the fuck I'm talkin' about. We see it all the time, don't we?

So, do girls really want a manner-challenged, emotionally, physically and psychologically abusive filthy unemployed jerk? The good news is that aside from ones with serious problems, the answer is overwhelmingly "NO". Girls don't want jerks. They certainly won't say they do. But do girls even KNOW what they want? OF COURSE NOT!! (see "5 Golden Rules" article). The bad news is that girls don't want jerks, but they are ATTRACTED to them, so they usually end up with them. Females make decisions via feelings, not logic. So they say to themselves, "logically, I should want to be with LUIGI*, who is sweet, caring, and caters to my every need, but for some reason I like AARON*, because he is so UNCONTROLLABLE!

To clearly understand the attributes that co-relate to attraction, let's compare the two types of personalities:

Comparison Table

NICE GUY (ATTRACTIVE FEATURES)

  • sweet, friendly

  • caring, giving
  • often romantic, spontaneous

NICE GUY (UNATTRACTIVE FEATURES)

  • POSSIBLE low confidence
  • predictable
  • needy, insecure
  • submissive, annoyingly sweet
JERK (ATTRACTIVE FEATURES)
  • APPEARS confident, mysterious
  • strong, unpredictable
  • dominating, presents a challenge

JERK (UNATTRACTIVE FEATURES)

  • POSSIBLY abusive
  • irrational, careless
  • insecure (beneath "tough" exterior)
  • socially unacceptable

Do you notice that all the attractive features of the male jerk are attributes that instantly attract females, while their unattractive features are the ones that usually come out over the long haul?

Of course you do.

Also, notice that the attractive features of the nice guy are ones that most females get from their girlfriends and family; therefore they don't LOOK for those things during the attraction phase. Moreover, the unattractive features of the nice guy are instantly noticeable. It is here where the manipulative instincts of a woman come into play, and the nice guy becomes a spineless doormat, which women may like as a "platonic friend", but don't have much respect for, much less attraction.

THE JAMES BOND PROTOTYPE
I first discussed the James Bond Prototype on New Year's Day 2004, with a good friend of mine in a trendy cafe in Old Montreal. The idea is as follows: imagine you took the attractive features of a nice guy, and the attractive features of a jerk and combined them to create a super hybrid alpha male ( I know it has already been done and Luigi Di Serio was created. But aside from me- imagine!) You would have the quintessential man, a "paradoxical paragon", if you will, a model of perfection that is not quite what it seems. Hence, THE JAMES BOND PROTOTYPE:

HE IS: uncontrollable, yet in control suave and slick, yet classy exciting and living on the edge, yet protective polite and cultured, and intellectual, yet stern mysterious, yet inviting secure romantic challenging friendly direct and articulate

So you see, women DO want nice guys, but they are more attracted to jerks. I actually feel sympathy for women, because they often must sacrifice or compromise something with a nice guy OR a jerk. To all the guys, do yourself a favour-the next time you find yourself in a predicament or a compromising situation with a woman, just ask yourself:

What would James Bond do?

* names are purely coincidental

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