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'The Gentle Art of Giving Compliments
-by Luigi Di Serio, edited by Aaron S.Bayley

Compliments are a simple and effective way to tell someone you think they are great, special or excel in a certain arena of life. However, compliments present an interesting and challenging paradox. For example, my girlfriends have often told me that I give the greatest compliments, yet I have always disliked putting people on pedestals unless it was absolutely genuine. The problem with telling a female she is pretty or has a nice smile is that she has heard it too many times before. If you say it, it makes you unoriginal, but even worse, it makes it look like you have an ulterior motive (which is getting some tap dance at dawn).

Most guys who are on the prowl in search of women have ruined the sincerity of compliments, because they lack the subtle skills to execute compliments successfully, or have over-used them and always have a motive for stating the obvious.

So now you're probably asking yourself: Is it good to give compliments or not? The answer is of course it is! A compliment can be a very powerful communication tool. But compliments are complicated.

Sure, if you compliment women, they will always feel good and make positive association with being around you, but if you overdue it they will think you're just trying to score points (which, of course, you are, but you don't want them to know that). I only advise giving compliments that you truly believe to be genuine and true, and when you are DETAILED about it. Here is an example of a bad compliment: "You are sooo beautiful".

"Thanks, for telling me something I already know, Captain Obvious", is no doubt what she would be thinking, upon hearing that pathetic dribble. A better way to say this would be:

"I bet 90% of the people you've met have told you that you have a wonderful smile".

And an even BETTER compliment would be:

"I bet everyone tells you that you have a wonderful smile, and I would tell you as well, if you didn't already know that it is one of the characteristics that defines you".

See, the two latter examples, which are more detailed, are compliments in disguise that will infiltrate directly to her sub-conscious mind. Do it!

The trick is having the ability and subtlety give a unique compliment about a certain characteristic or action that most people would tend to overlook. Never tell a woman how beautiful she is. Everyone has said that to her. Learn from his mistakes and tell her how talented or intelligent she is. Chances are she has rarely (if ever) received such a compliment, and no matter HOW beautiful she is, she won't be able to stop smiling once she hears it.

Don't overuse compliments, though. That turns you into a pathetic, overly nice, sweet wuss bag who is seeking approval. The general rule is that for every compliment, is that YOU ARE THE AUTHORITY. So you compliment is like your a judge on some idol show and your opinion is really what matters. You should use at least two to four teases and poke fun at her insecurities (this is crucial). Also, let the compliment sink in, or else they will be taken for granted and desensitization will occur. When you have mastered the technique of giving a good compliment, you will find out that they are highly contagious. And you will start receiving them in return, instead of a simple "Thanks".

Now, to practice your compliment-giving, everyone drop me a line on how clever I am and how much you love my writing and tips. Thanks! You are all so wonderful!

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