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Bullshit Tabloid Magazines/Papers
Top 10 Bullshit
In my not-so expert, but very valid opinion, I have compile a list
of the top 10 most bulshit publication. This list uses a very
scientific and complex algorithm that measures amount of copies read
by the amount of lies published. Also considered are a few smaller,
yet imperative variables. Sure there are others, but this list
comprises of publications that are both large in circulation and
largely filled with cow dung.
This list was compiled on behalf of
Bull Shit University
The National Enquirer: Sensationalism and scandal are the
air and water of this magazine, but bullshit is it's heart and
soul. These guys are the masters of fabricating
"news". They make tabloids out of any photo, rumor
or name without any evidence what so ever. If courts operated
like national enquirer everyone would be guilty until proven
innocent (but it would be too late, because you'd already be
defamed or executed by then).
US Weekly: You know when someone says to a child
"utter nonsense"? You can say that after reading
each and every paragraph of this bullshit publication. The
really bad thing about US weekly is it looks like it is legit.
It's not a tabloid style format and it fools people because of
this. Luckily most of their garbage is about
"celebrities" so no one really gives a shit anyway.
Cosmopolitan: Also known as, the mindless propaganda
magazine for feminist fanatics, this piece of junk has women
and young girls all over the world believing they can have 20
orgasms in a row. They make them believe they can control and
tame their pig boyfriends and gain independence by dressing
like tramps. They also show girls exactly why they should be
insecure, by showing off nothing but perfect models, yet
telling them to be comfortable with who they are. This is
merely bullshit written by old bitter hags.
The New York Times: You know why people say "You have
more issues than the NY Times" to really messed up girls?
Because the NY Times is like a messed up girl carrying
emotional baggage from here to next year. Coming from the most
cosmopolitan and advanced city on Earth, this paper
disappoints because the liberal open-minded citizen's of NYC
somehow believe the CRAP in this asswash.
inTouch: Similar to US Weekly these morons try to pass
their news and stories off as actual fact. They don't try to
act like they are "embellishing" stories which is
why they are more bullshit and can be more dangerous than
tabloids. This magazine has been responsible for the break up
of many relationships as couples battled over "Jen and
Bild: This German propaganda machine is the biggest
tabloid in Europe, read by over 4 million readers. They took
American style tabloids into Europe in a big way and stared
transforming the once culturally rich European nations into
morally bankrupt, entertainment starved fools (just like
Daily Star: Just so stupid it's not even worth speaking
about. "Bomb Shell Rocks Big Bro"... wtf does that
mean?! A weapon, a petroleum company and a band were on the
reality TV show Big Brother?! I am convinced they have a
computer that generates random works and photos to compile
The Toronto Sun: Such a disappointment to see the most
multi-cultural city in the world have a paper pushing
extreme-right wing ideologies with crafty undertones of
racism. This is supposed to be a newspaper, but it looks and
reads like a tabloid. Just pathetic.
PlayBoy: Fooling men for decades into
believing/fantasizing they actually have a chance in getting
hot women like ones displayed in their colorful pages. To make
matters even worst, they are attempting to write genuine,
intellectual articles. Whether they are written well or not, a
man can only think with one head at a time, and when they are
reading this magazine, we know which one they are using, while
the other being rendered futile. Gentlemen, face it,
everything in this magazine is bullshit.
Rolling Stone: They try to tell young people what's hype,
what's trendy, what bands to like and what the greatest songs
of all time are... but this magazine is made by a bunch of
old, washed up loser who keep "rolling" and keep
getting "stoned". Then they write down the first
bullshit that comes out of their acid-infested brains, and
passing it off as artistic revolution.